Young Underpaid Professionals

Facebook invaded the interwebs on February 2004 (and started eating its competition alive); it all started with a [then] Harvard sophomore, Mark Zuckerberg. The Philippines caught the Facebook bug only relatively recently, since Friendster Mad Cow was then the preferred spawn pool/watering hole/troll central/social website.

I’d like to think that Facebook’s casual games, easy access news feed, and the brilliant Ignore button was what lured me to its virtual spaces. Then again, I realized what made me quit Friendster: the bloody ASCII characters were annoying me to bits. Why would you need to write your name/testimonial/comment like that? Do you even know what ASCII means? While I’m in rant mode, do you even know what an umlaut is?

As I was saying before I started frothing at the mouth, Friendster started to look more and more like a cesspool in my eyes so I packed my bags and headed off to Multiply.

[I'm sure you wouldn't want to know how my foray into Twitter turned out, so I'll cut the social networking history there.]

Right now, I know you’re wondering what this troll post is all about. I’m quitting Facebook (I’m sure Facebook folks will still see this since Multiply has a nifty little feature called cross post). I don’t know until when, and I don’t know if I’m ever coming back – well, except to chat with cousins abroad – and until then I am not going to touch any Facebook link with a ten-foot pole. In case you were wondering too, how my war with Facebook came to be, I’ve assembled a list.

Connecting People vs. Disconnecting People

I know what these social websites are for; the basic idea is to provide an area within which you can re/connect with your friends, loved ones, relatives [which shouldn't always be confused with loved ones], and family, along with your [long lost] friends, relatives [to the nth time removed], previous co-workers [you never really liked], high school and elementary classmates [you can't recognize anymore], and other people you’d like to establish a connection with.

You can get a blow-by-blow account of how their day went, where they’ll be for the night, what they’re having for dinner, how they’re feeling this very instant, when they’re brushing their teeth, and from where they’re posting that particular status update. Unless you are particularly interested in every little breath everybody takes, at which case you probably need urgent help, you would start getting tired. The worst part is, you’d start to get tired of your favorite people on Earth.

And after all that, you start using the Hide button with extreme prejudice [if not extreme malice - on a particularly harassed day, I'd unfriend]. Game invites, Mafia Wars updates, the Friends for Sale whines, and other applications popping up are a whole other story [see below].

It all boils down to a simple question, how many friends will survive on your news feed?

Applications, Games, Quizzes and other Nefarious Devices

When I was new to Facebook, I had no idea how to remove the game, application, quiz, and other updates from things I didn’t know I approved [a group of updates which shall henceforth be called the Devil's Updates] and so my friends probably forgave me. As experience [and annoyance] grew, I started blocking Devil’s Updates from posting on my friend’s walls since I knew they wouldn’t give a flying rat’s ass if I iced somebody in Mafia Wars or levelled up my pet. Heck, I wouldn’t even want my friends to know I’m playing Pet Society or whatever.

The problem was, the Devil’s fiendish updates still magically appeared on my wall, and still gave up-to-the-minute coverage of my online casual gaming. I know it’s for advertising, for luring hapless other people into clicking the links, but how will a status update like “xxxx just iced xxxx in Mafia Wars! His kill count is now 2,304,573.30″ help your reputation? I don’t know about you, but I don’t like coming across as an asshole in-game, online, or anywhere for that matter. And no, I do not have fucking cabbages. For heaven’s sake, please have mercy and spare your some of your friends from the grief.

The Newfangled Live Feed and News Feed

My first reactions when the newfangled live feed update was released were “why the fuck would I need both a news feed and a live feed?” and “what the fuck is the difference between a live feed and a news feed?” The word “live” in context to broadcasting and news media usually means “right now,” “this instant,” “this very nanosecond.” The word “news” on the other hand means “a report of a recent event.” Tell me, what’s the difference between getting a status message, say like, “I’m brushing my teeth… right now,” right this nanosecond and getting the same inane message an hour later?

Okay, so it’s for the updates from the people and Devil’s Updates you’ve hidden (as far as I can decipher, here’s the real account from Mashable) but still. Why? Why would I need to know if my friends became Facebook friends with a person I can’t stand to be in the same room with? Why would I need to know if my friends became a fan of a certain thing? Why would I need to know if a friend was tagged in a photo?

It’s like Facebook started keeping track of how many times my friends fart in a day and gave me a pie chart of all the numbers they collected. Dude, believe me. There’s information and there’s too much information.

I know, I know, I have that annoying RSS feed to YuppieUniverse, hence bringing us to the next subject.

The Dawn of the Passive Aggressive

If you don’t like the RSS feed, tell me it’s annoying the living daylights out of you. Really.

I noticed that lately, if I was annoyed with something, I’d post a scathing status message on Facebook or YM. When did that start? I usually would go to the person/thing/cretin annoying me and say exactly what I would like say [which is rarely pretty but is mostly brutally honest]. These days, I’d go passive-aggressive and secretly hope they’d take the bait [come on, don't tell me you haven't done that].

It seems that the Hide button didn’t succeed in preventing you from getting sick of everybody, it instead succeeded in making you passive-aggressive.

Anyway, I liked the old Facebook, the one that wasn’t so stalker-friendly. I’m sure some people would strongly disagree with me and try to convince me that it’s not so bad. You’re talking to the wrong person.

You see, whenever Facebook makes an update, they use these words as a reason for the changes: User Feedback. I have this nagging suspicion that whoever is giving them feedback have outstanding TROs (Temporary Restraining Orders) and is possibly wanted in several states and not to mention countries.

Another point a friend raised is Responsible Facebook Usage. It turns out that I am not alone in my Facebook fatigue, there are others also reeling from the points stated above [and then some]. I won’t suggest any RFUs right now, this post has gone from a simple rant to a rant of epic proportions.

So there, until I find a way to block all the Devil’s Updates and a workaround for the passive-aggressiveness, I’ll be staying clear from Facebook.

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