Young Underpaid Professionals

I’ll admit, I thought I was all set for Valentine’s Day with the Rom-Com and Classics post but as random brain farts don’t usually follow a schedule, I’ll write this down now so my brain can get over what my friend Lei calls Barfintimes Day. Despite popular belief, Valentine’s Day isn’t only for lovers; it’s for singles too. It’s that time of the year when the phrase “singled out” takes a whole new different meaning. Attached friends look upon you with pity, and whatever you say can and will be taken against you and translated as bitterness. People like me however, delight in the communal misery as it is so much better than the “just you” kind of misery which ironically, can come with breaking up.

Unlike other people though, I don’t compensate for not having dead flowers with which to decorate my desk by shooting dead flora carrying couples with a water gun, instead I take the more mature route and say, “Magbebreak din kayo.” Er, I meant, I go and write something that attempts to explain love and overanalyze it to itsy-bitsy pieces.

Moving on. While reading up on Disney, I realized that people from my age group were kids right smack in the middle of a period called the Disney Renaissance and as a result, may have grown up to ideas from Disney flicks. We were very impressionable during the Disney Renaissance (a period that started in 1989 and ended in 1999) and it wouldn’t be too hard to surmise that it may have been what messed us all up. I was 6 years old when that period started and Disney movies were with me throughout those very important formative years. From my research, Walt Disney Animation Studios released nine notable animated films during the 10 year period and we’ll dissect each one to find how each could have possibly screwed us up.

The Little Mermaid. This movie has the distinct reputation of being the one that pulled the animated feature genre from its downward spiral toward oblivion (and we, as Disney suckers, all bow to it in gratitude). It was based on Hans Christian Andersen’s fairy tale, though Disney took away the more depressing parts of the story and turned it into a musical. In the original tale, the legs don’t only cost The Little Mermaid her voice; it also causes her incredible pain. Also, The Little Mermaid didn’t end up with the prince as she dies brokenhearted and dissolves into sea foam. Anyway, I think The Little Mermaid taught us that self-sacrifice out of love is its own reward (right) and in the end, the love of your life will come around after the evil sea witch’s enchantment wears off/breaks.

Beauty and the Beast. This is my all-time favorite animated movie (wait, I feel a song coming on, sing with me, “Little town… It’s a quiet village…”) and lessons-wise, I think it’s Ignore the Overrated Prick but since I can hear Chris shrieking, “FEMINIST” I’ll parse this a little more. In Beauty and the Beast, we learned that one should see beyond looks and physical appearances to see the real person inside the beast. Here’s the important life lesson kids. You just can’t take the good stuff; you’ll have to take both the beast and the prince because they’re the same person.

Aladdin. I know I’m on dangerous ground when I say (but you know I’m going to say it anyway) that in this Disney adaptation of the Arabian Nights tale, we learned that all sheltered girls just need the right street Arab to come along and show them a whole new world (and let’s not be sexist about love. On the flip side, sheltered guys need biker chicks).

The Lion King. I’m not sure whether The Lion King served any romantic love lessons, though I think the movie illustrates the way bachelor groups (Timon and Pumbaa in this case) react when one of their own falls into the love trap.

Pocahontas. It would be a little trite to say that this movie, based on the historical/legendary woman, taught us that love knows no boundaries and no race but since it’s Valentine’s Day, the holiday of the trite, the sappy and the clichéd, we’ll stick with that one.

The Hunchback of Notre Dame. Again with the self-sacrifice. This movie by the way was spastically adapted (meaning it has the same characters and some of the same circumstances, but the adaptation and the original are completely different entities) from Victor Hugo’s novel of the same title. In the Disney movie, Esmeralda manages a happily ever after while Quasimodo the third wheel maintains that he is happy for her.

Hercules. Hmm. I think the best lesson we all learned from this movie is Denial. In the song “I Won’t Say I’m in Love,” Meg illustrates exactly how to do it. Next time you’re with your girlfriends and somebody’s in denial, check everybody’s responses, they should sound like the song. (Again, sing with me, “Face it like a grown-up, when are you gonna own up that you got, got, got it baaaaad.”)

Mulan. Love-wise, this movie taught me that stressful situations often lead to romance, as evidenced by action movies, but I guess the movie was more on Mulan’s transformation from the awkward duckling to the graceful, albeit armed with a sword, swan.

Tarzan. As if to drive further the point Pocahontas made earlier, Disney reiterates the love knows no boundaries or language barriers lesson in Tarzan, based on Edgar Rice Burrough’s story.

After submitting the exhibits, I suppose Disney did supply some of the ideals about love that were ingrained into our collective subconscious at an early age. Disney’s not the only culprit though, if you think about it, most of our notions about romantic love were supplied by Sweet Valley High, foreign and local movies, and television. Remember those Pinoy movies with beach scenes where the protagonists suddenly burst into song and dance numbers? Maybe those provided more subliminal damage – but that’s a story for another day.

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