I was having a particularly merciless bout of insomnia and so I tried to keep my nighttime activities as inane as possible to bore myself to sleep. I read a boring book I have been trying to finish since 2008. No dice (no luck finishing the book either, I found my mind wandering to cheerier places at every paragraph). I stared at the ceiling until the agiw annoyed me; it was 5:37 AM, the birds were chirping outside, and it won’t be long before the neighbor nearest my window started belting out his shower concert (While I am all for cultivating a healthy imagination, I must point out that imagining yourself to have a good singing voice has cost a number of people their lives in unfortunate karaoke bar incidents, but I digress). And so I did the unthinkable and decided to clean up my cell phone inbox.

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